For the longest time I could not figure out what to do with my hair. I’ve had fire engine red, bleached streaks, and everything in between. None of it really felt like me. Until I finally fell into this cycle with my hairdresser. Going into college I dyed my hair Chestnut Brown. I had such an attachment to that color; I felt like getting rid of the bleached streaks was saying hello to the Intro to Adulthood that was this next chapter of my life. Boy was I wrong.
What came next was a series of overdue showers, missed haircuts, and doing the absolute most with my straightener. When I would actually find my way into the chair, I’d get the same cut and color: never changing my look, despite how much growing I was doing on the inside.
It wasn’t until I had been out of college a little over a year, spent two months in Italy, and was “finding my way” through my three part-time jobs before I had finally begun looking like myself. I went into my hairdresser for the first of my twice-a-year hair color/cut. Except this time, I felt different. I told her I wanted to go a tad darker than the variations of Chestnut Brown I had been keeping for the past five years. She instantly looked at me and said “You’re ready, it’s time to go dark. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but you weren’t ready until now”.
And I was ready more than ever. I felt invincible, as if this was my true inner self finally climbing her way out to slay you all. (Sorry that was her talking.) My point is, sometimes you have to make your way through the Chestnut Browns until you find your true self. Whatever color that may be. Maybe you’ll find your way to the pastel colors, or that rainbow underthing in those Facebook videos. I will say, that ever since, I’ve liberated my inner witch.
Wherever you find yourself, embrace it.
Life is complicated, that's a given. I'm just here to talk through the rough patches, celebrate the successes of adulthood and figure out what the hell we're doing.